Lately I've been having very vivid but weird dreams. Not all of them are bad dreams per se, but weird nonetheless.
The one I had last night was a particularly weird one. I was in a giant theme park kind of place with my brother and my little cousin, only I was my age, but my brother was much younger than me (he's only 1 year apart from me), and my cousin looked like when she was about six. In the dream, I distinctly remembered that I was with a group of friends before, and I had asked them if they'd wanted to come with us to the theme park, but they said no, so we'd left without them.
The scene changed to a cinema type place in this theme park. I don't remember what film it was showing, but I'd walked out holding my little cousin's hand and my brother following us, with the distinct feeling of being quite happy.
Next thing I remember, I see Stuart with my group of friends from before, walking past me, so of course I stop and say hello. I also said "I thought you guys didn't want to come to the theme park?". One of the girls in the group (who felt very much like a frenemy and was 13 from House (Olivia Wilde)) spoke up, "Oh, you didn't ask us to come along.", to which I angrily retorted "Yes, I did! I asked you and you guys didn't want to come!". She shrugged in a really annoying nonchalant manner and started walking off, and the rest of the group sort of follow her in a really robotic way. I look at Stuart and he stares right through me and walks off with the rest of the group, leaving me feeling small and very hurt.
Have you ever had the kind of dream where you knew it was a dream and you kept thinking, wake up, wake up right now because I don't want to be here any more, but try as you might, you couldn't? This dream was exactly like that, and all the feelings I felt in the dream, I could feel in real life. When I finally woke up, I felt like the dream was so real, and for that one irrational moment, I thought that it actually was happening in real life.
The night before I'd had a similar sort of lucid dream as well, only it was scarier and involved a lot of running around (I was running from a serial killer who tortured his victims in a dingy hospital operating room kind of setting before he murdered them), so that when I woke up I actually felt physically and mentally exhausted.
I remember a very vivid dream, that to this very day, I remember every single detail. I was a Jew, living in the time of the Holocaust. I remember having to run and hide from the Nazi soldiers, and the constant fear and terror I felt. In my dream I wept as I watched my world around fall apart. When I woke up, my pillow was wet, and I realised that the emotions I'd felt in my dream were so strong that I'd actually cried in real life.
But then there are nights where I don't think I dream at all. It's just a huge black blank between falling asleep and suddenly, the next thing I know, I'm waking up. It's bizzare.
Stuart says I'm a weirdo. I don't know. I actually quite like that I have weird dreams. Means that I have a good imagination and an active subconscious, haha! :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Right, what's the point of this blog again? Sigh.
2011 isn't off to a great start, sadly.
Postman comes banging on my door this morning, and I get an official looking letter, and I think "Oh my god, yay! The visa people were nice and rushed my application and they've sent it back already!" But, no. Wait a minute, it's a rejection letter.
Bloody fucking incredible.
Apparently they rejected it because the bank rejected the payment. Which is ridiculous because Dad got a message from them saying that the UK Home Office was taking the money. ARGH!
So anyways, I've now filled in a new application form, and am going to go through it (ALL OVER AGAIN, AS IF THE FIRST TIME WASN'T ENOUGH!!!) tonight.
It's super annoying. I suppose it's not a massive deal, but anyone who's had to deal with visa stuff can attest to how much red tape one has to jump through and stupid mundane questions one has to fill out on these application forms.
Other than that, Christmas was great. Stu and I spent Christmas Eve in Nottingham. I made a turkey and everything!
We were invited to Ken and Kay's (Stuart's dad and his partner) place for Christmas dinner, so on Christmas morning, his dad came to pick us up. We had a lovely time chatting in front of a gorgeous fire, and then went to see Jo (Stuart's mom), after which we walked back to Stuart's house.
On Boxing Day, we went over to Ken and Kay's house again for lunch and spent most of the day in front of the fire again. We left around 8pm to see Hayley and Dave at the Sir John Cockle, where I also had my very first pub quiz! There was a music quiz which we won (no thanks to me, although I did know the title of one song, You Raise Me Up, by the way, haha.) and the other normal quiz, which we didn't win, but it was great fun nonetheless. We finished at about 11.30pm and caught a taxi back to Crown Street.
Oh, some bad news. Stuart's friend Chloe (who was renting his house) decided to move in with another friend, and so she's moving out of Stu's house quite soon. That means Stuart has to either move back to Mansfield (which isn't ideal) or get another tenant to rent his house. Poor thing, he's quite stressed out about all this and money stuff.
Right, now on to New Year's resolutions. Last year, I remember making a list which included "Shop less", which lasted about three days, and "Exercise more", which lasted about a day. This year, I'm going to try and make more realistic resolutions.
Oh yes! Stuart and I have decided to start this thing called Project 365 (I typed 635 a minute ago, lol!). Basically, you take a picture everyday and upload it. Stu showed me this website, http://365project.org/ , which will make it easy to upload pictures and leave a description. Such a brilliant idea.
Right, I'm off to get something to eat now. Haven't eaten all day, thanks to the visa nonsense I've had to deal with. Sigh.
2011 isn't off to a great start, sadly.
Postman comes banging on my door this morning, and I get an official looking letter, and I think "Oh my god, yay! The visa people were nice and rushed my application and they've sent it back already!" But, no. Wait a minute, it's a rejection letter.
Bloody fucking incredible.
Apparently they rejected it because the bank rejected the payment. Which is ridiculous because Dad got a message from them saying that the UK Home Office was taking the money. ARGH!
So anyways, I've now filled in a new application form, and am going to go through it (ALL OVER AGAIN, AS IF THE FIRST TIME WASN'T ENOUGH!!!) tonight.
It's super annoying. I suppose it's not a massive deal, but anyone who's had to deal with visa stuff can attest to how much red tape one has to jump through and stupid mundane questions one has to fill out on these application forms.
Other than that, Christmas was great. Stu and I spent Christmas Eve in Nottingham. I made a turkey and everything!
We were invited to Ken and Kay's (Stuart's dad and his partner) place for Christmas dinner, so on Christmas morning, his dad came to pick us up. We had a lovely time chatting in front of a gorgeous fire, and then went to see Jo (Stuart's mom), after which we walked back to Stuart's house.
On Boxing Day, we went over to Ken and Kay's house again for lunch and spent most of the day in front of the fire again. We left around 8pm to see Hayley and Dave at the Sir John Cockle, where I also had my very first pub quiz! There was a music quiz which we won (no thanks to me, although I did know the title of one song, You Raise Me Up, by the way, haha.) and the other normal quiz, which we didn't win, but it was great fun nonetheless. We finished at about 11.30pm and caught a taxi back to Crown Street.
Oh, some bad news. Stuart's friend Chloe (who was renting his house) decided to move in with another friend, and so she's moving out of Stu's house quite soon. That means Stuart has to either move back to Mansfield (which isn't ideal) or get another tenant to rent his house. Poor thing, he's quite stressed out about all this and money stuff.
Right, now on to New Year's resolutions. Last year, I remember making a list which included "Shop less", which lasted about three days, and "Exercise more", which lasted about a day. This year, I'm going to try and make more realistic resolutions.
- Join a gym and work out at least 3 times a week, an hour each session.
- No shopping from New Year's day up till my birthday. (So far I've kept this one, so I'm doing good!)
- Get a job. (Duh.)
- Eat less junk food and more fruits and vegetables.
- Spend less on going out (eating at restaurants, nights out, etc.)
Oh yes! Stuart and I have decided to start this thing called Project 365 (I typed 635 a minute ago, lol!). Basically, you take a picture everyday and upload it. Stu showed me this website, http://365project.org/ , which will make it easy to upload pictures and leave a description. Such a brilliant idea.
Right, I'm off to get something to eat now. Haven't eaten all day, thanks to the visa nonsense I've had to deal with. Sigh.
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